“I Must Be Broken”: The Hidden Belief at the Heart of Infertility

There’s a painful, quiet belief that I see again and again in the women I work with—one they rarely say out loud, yet it sits at the core of their fertility struggle:

“Maybe I deserve this.”

“Maybe I’m broken.”

It doesn’t matter how many tests they’ve had. Or how many supplements they take. Or how many doctors say, “It’s just bad luck.”

The real ache comes from a much deeper place—a subconscious belief that they’re somehow not worthy of motherhood.

Where Does This Belief Come From?

These beliefs don’t start in adulthood. They are imprinted in the earliest chapters of our story—often long before we even understand what they mean.

They come from:

• A mother who was overly critical, emotionally unavailable, or who disappeared emotionally or physically when we needed her most.

• A father who abandoned us, rejected us, or only loved us when we performed.

• Early experiences where we felt like a burden, too much, or not enough.

• Intergenerational beliefs passed down silently—“Motherhood is hard,” “You have to sacrifice everything for your children,” “Love will leave you,” or “Women in our family always struggle to conceive.”

These emotional wounds plant the seed for an identity that whispers:

“Something is wrong with me.”

“I am the problem.”

When left unexamined, these beliefs can quietly sabotage even the most determined fertility journey.

The Fertility Block You Can’t See on a Scan

The thing is, these thoughts don’t just live in your mind—they live in your body.

They influence your hormones, your nervous system, your cycles.

They shape how you respond to stress, to intimacy, to hope and disappointment.

And crucially, they shape what your subconscious believes is safe or possible.

If your body believes motherhood = danger, loss, or rejection, it may hold back—not to punish you, but to protect you.

Healing the Hidden Belief

So what’s the remedy?

It’s not more trying, more doing, more forcing.

It’s a return.

A return to the younger you who first formed that belief.

A gentle, powerful process of going back to the moment it all began—not to stay there, but to witness it with compassion and then choose again.

And then—once you’ve held that part of you in light—you begin to reconnect with the parts of you that are not broken.

The parts that are intuitive, wise, loving, creative, brave.

The parts that are maternal, even if you don’t have a child in your arms yet.

Because those parts are still in you.

They’re waiting.

And they’re ready to believe in a new truth:

You are not broken.

You were never broken.

You are worthy of the light of a future child—not because you’ve earned it, but because it’s safe to receive it now.

Your fertility journey is not just a medical process. It’s an emotional and spiritual awakening.

If deep down you’ve been carrying the belief that you don’t deserve motherhood, it’s time to unearth it—not with shame, but with courage.

Because the moment you stop treating yourself like a problem to be fixed…

You start living as the woman your future child would be proud to choose.

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‘It only takes one egg’